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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24455059">$&amp;@#, you *#%$!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/pseuds/christinefromsherwood'>christinefromsherwood</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>James Bond (Craig movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Contains swearing - Freeform, Dialogue-Only, Drabble, Gen, Humor, M/M, So much slipping, all the slipping, possibly pre-relationship?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:08:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24455059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/pseuds/christinefromsherwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bond's on a mission and manages to piss his Quartermaster off beyond words.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Bond &amp; Q</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>MI6 Cafe Last Drabble Writer Standing</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>$&amp;@#, you *#%$!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a non-competing drabble for LDWS 2020 Week 3: 300 words of pure dialogue inspired by "slip"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“007! Sitrep!”</p><p>“I’m fine, Q. Don’t worry.”</p><p>“Thanks to your hilarious antics, Bond, I no longer have visuals. Please <em> elaborate </em>.”</p><p>“I said I’m fine, Q! Just… uh—a tad—hhhhnnnng—busy. At the moment.”</p><p>“Are you climbing the cliff right now?”</p><p>“Hhuuunnng.”</p><p>“It sounds like you’re climbing right now.”</p><p>“Quartermaster?”</p><p>“Yes, 007? Is His Highness finally feeling up to sharing with mission control?”</p><p>“Fucking. Stop. Banging. On the—uh—keyboard!”</p><p>“Banging? Really?! Is that what I’m doing? And here I was thinking I was diverting the local authorities and saving your hide.”</p><p>“Can’t concentrate!”</p><p>“Tough. Bloody. Luck.”</p><p>“...”</p><p>“Bond?”</p><p>“...”</p><p>“Did you just <em>mute me </em> right now?!”</p><p>“...”</p><p>“Oh! <em>You</em>! Bloody! <em> WANKER </em>!”</p><p>“...Sir?”</p><p>“One day! One glorious day! I will <em> murder </em> you and no one will be able to find the body!”</p><p>“What happened, sir?”</p><p>“<em> Bond </em> is what’s happened, Symmonds! He’s destroyed the fruit cart, scattering bananas! Field agent Barnes twisted his ankle in the slush—”</p><p>“Sir—”</p><p>“—He’s stolen a lime-green scooter when evac personnel left him an inconspicuous Fiat Punto just round the—”</p><p>“Sir—”</p><p>“—He ended up slip-sliding off a cliff with said scooter because he thinks that will push for more research on the bloody jet packs—”</p><p>“—I think—”</p><p>“—Think again! You! Horrible! ARGH! I will BLOODY MURDERWANK YOU—”</p><p>“Sir! I think the issue's on our end!”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>“...It’s... <em> you </em> , sir. Erm… You've muted <em> Bond </em>.”</p><p>“...oh.”</p><p>“Go on, Quartermaster, no need to stop on my account. In your wildest, darkest dreams, do we have dinner before or do we go straight to the wanking?”</p><p>“...”</p><p>“No, really. I meant it: do go on.”</p><p>“...I apologize. I lost my temper and misspoke. It was very inappropriate of me.”</p><p>“Don’t <em>apologize</em>, Q. This is a breakthrough—”</p><p>“Shut up, Bond. Traipsing around Europe with a psychologist for six months doesn’t give you an honorary degree.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you laughed at least once, send me a smiley in the comments. 😉</p><p>If you want to read something a bit nicer and more serious with Q and Bond who are already together, check out <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23933185">Serenade On Your Heartstrings</a> by christinefromsherwood (me😁😁) <em>- 00q established relationship, fluff and humour, Q forgot to kiss James in the morning and now he's been sent on a dangerous mission </em>CONTAINS ART BY THE AMAZING KSANIA <a href="https://www.instagram.com/starrboned/">(Ksan's instagram)</a></p><p><a href="https://mi6-cafe.tumblr.com/post/619517705667674112/drabbles-for-week-3-are-heeere-this-week-our">Read the competitive drabbles here</a>, you can vote on them until Sunday 31st May midnight EDT.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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